Life

I made it. I powered through finals and I finished my sophomore year. That was like...ten days ago, so clearly I have some updating to do. On my last school night, as I grappled with explaining why WWII led to the Cold War, and I stayed up until 3am doing so, I decided that I deserved something special--an end of the year gift, if you will. But I decided for it to feel as rewarding as possible, I needed to buy it for myself. I settled on a MacBook Pro. It was a spontaneous, impulsive purchase but something that will come in very handy as I approach my junior year.

************

I missed blogging about Father's Day, so here are some very belated words. Happy Father's Day, Dad. I know things have been rough lately but I love you to death and I sincerely hope that our relationship is on the mend.

************

I started watching Glee. In fact, I watched 11 episodes in three days (it was rainy, I swear). It's wicked funny and cute and has the best cast of characters. They are all so stereotypical and that's what I love about them. Matthew Morrison, who plays the role of the Glee Club advisor, is hot and so enjoyable to watch and Jane Lynch, who plays the cheerleading coach, is so sarcastic and has the most contemptuous humor. I'm not a huge fan of TV shows but I have been converted to a Glee fan!

************

These are the days that I pined for all winter long. Summer is here and I am doing my best to savor each precious minute. I can't find many words today, which might have something to do with the fact that my brain has entered full-on summer mode. All I can say is that life is good, summer is treating me really well and I am happy and blessed. On that note, I leave you with some pictures of the start to a really great, two month long adventure: summer.

Thoughts on a Thursday Evening.

Tonight I feel raw. I feel broken and I feel vulnerable. I feel like life is passing by right before my eyes and I'm sprinting to catch up but I just can't run fast enough. So much is going on, so much is changing and I'm trying to adjust, trying to graciously accept each new day.

Today at my school we had our "Class Day" ceremony for the seniors. Awards were given by each department, the band played, the chorus sung and silly speeches were made. For the first time this year, we saw the seniors marching in their caps and gowns, their parents watching them proudly while the underclassmen (that's me!) sat on the bleachers, admiring their accomplishments and envisioning the day where they are recognized for making it through twelve years of schooling. It's hard enough to grasp the fact that this graduating class will not be with us next year. The current juniors will walk in the footsteps of the seniors while us sophomores excitedly become upperclassmen. The current freshmen will become sophomores and will worry about being the forgotten grade and the little, dear incoming freshmen will walk through the halls with fear as they turn a major page in the book of life.

Not only am I feeling anxious for finals, for finishing up this year so we can ease into summer but I also can't stop thinking about what my life will be like in two years. I will be one of those students dressed in a cap and gown, marching down that aisle while MY family comes to the realization that I will shortly be entering the "real world." It's a scary place, this real world. In just two short years, will I be ready to leave my parents? I will have been with them for eighteen years and then with just a simple snap of the fingers, I'll be gone. Of course I'll be home for holidays and such but I will not be living under this roof where I feel so safe and so loved. I assume the seniors who are graduating on Sunday are thinking these thoughts. And why am I thinking them when I still have two years to go, you ask? Simply because today when I heard a few seniors speak of how surreal all of this was and how fast it happened, I got concerned. What if I don't embrace these next two years, these last, precious years with my best friends, my family and my community? I know these years will be challenging, brain-wracking, heart-wrenching, life changing and oh so precious. I will run fast, I will run as fast as my legs will let me and I will catch up to life. I will reach the point where I am feeling in touch, secure and at peace with the new changes that life will throw at me over the course of the next two years.

Bliss

I woke up sandwiched between my two best friends to the sound of birds tweeting, a lawnmower mowing and a ray of sunshine blinding my eyes. After a dreary seven days of rain, I was in pure bliss.

I forgot to mention that when I woke up, I was still sleepy. So, I did what any person might do on a Saturday morning--I went right back to sleep. I was awoken at 11:30 by a phone call from a friend. I groggily made plans and after a few minutes of morning stretches and a some yawning, I hauled my body out of bed. I skipped breakfast this morning and instead packed a picnic lunch.

A friend picked us up and we headed to one of my favorite little beaches. We unrolled a huge wool blanket and laid it down on the rocks. We sat Indian-style while munching on a delicious lunch and enjoying each others company.

The sea breeze swept across our bodies, luring me towards the water. I kicked my sandals off, rolled up my jeans and waded in. The refreshing, salty water stung my legs; a sensation that I had been missing for months.

By the time we got home, the sun had gotten even hotter and put all of us in a trance. The four of us lay on the driveway, the black tar practically burning our backs and the bright sun keeping us from opening our eyes. I felt so content, perhaps the most content I had felt in weeks. In a brief moment of silence, I announced, "Life is SO good." There I was, lying on the ground, surrounded by friendship, laughter, happiness and sunshine--what's better than that?--and I realized, this is why I do it. This is why I have my bad days, so good days like today seem like a gift. If every day were wonderful, at some point I wouldn't consider them wonderful anymore. I recognize these special moments, both verbally and in writing, so when I hit a bump on the road of life (which I'm sure I'll do this coming week, maybe even tomorrow...) I can look back and say to myself, "You do have good days! You had a good day last Saturday! You'll have another one soon if you keep pushing through! Your life is so good!"

Tonight, I will go to bed feeling happy, lucky and oh so grateful for this precious life.