You can blame summer for my lack of appearance on here. I've been busy and it's been good. Life lately has been a wild ride but I've held on tight; I've accepted things I wouldn't normally be willing to accept and at this point, nothing surprises me anymore. There has been more change in these past few months than there has been in this past year but for once, I feel in control of my emotions, my actions and my life as a whole. I feel stable, happy and ever so grateful for the wonderful people that make me smile each day. In two weeks, school starts and I'll turn another page in this huge book of life. It will be perhaps one of the most challenging nine months of my life thus far, but right now I'm trying to look past the tears and suffering that it will entail and see the beauty in the routine of school and the rewarding moments that makes it all worth it. I'm going to go in strong and when I feel my knees getting weak and my life starting to crumble, I will come right back here and read about how it is indeed possible for me to gain control and find the silver lining amidst the chaos of life.
I made it. I powered through finals and I finished my sophomore year. That was like...ten days ago, so clearly I have some updating to do. On my last school night, as I grappled with explaining why WWII led to the Cold War, and I stayed up until 3am doing so, I decided that I deserved something special--an end of the year gift, if you will. But I decided for it to feel as rewarding as possible, I needed to buy it for myself. I settled on a MacBook Pro. It was a spontaneous, impulsive purchase but something that will come in very handy as I approach my junior year.
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I missed blogging about Father's Day, so here are some very belated words. Happy Father's Day, Dad. I know things have been rough lately but I love you to death and I sincerely hope that our relationship is on the mend.
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I started watching Glee. In fact, I watched 11 episodes in three days (it was rainy, I swear). It's wicked funny and cute and has the best cast of characters. They are all so stereotypical and that's what I love about them. Matthew Morrison, who plays the role of the Glee Club advisor, is hot and so enjoyable to watch and Jane Lynch, who plays the cheerleading coach, is so sarcastic and has the most contemptuous humor. I'm not a huge fan of TV shows but I have been converted to a Glee fan!
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These are the days that I pined for all winter long. Summer is here and I am doing my best to savor each precious minute. I can't find many words today, which might have something to do with the fact that my brain has entered full-on summer mode. All I can say is that life is good, summer is treating me really well and I am happy and blessed. On that note, I leave you with some pictures of the start to a really great, two month long adventure: summer.
Tonight I feel raw. I feel broken and I feel vulnerable. I feel like life is passing by right before my eyes and I'm sprinting to catch up but I just can't run fast enough. So much is going on, so much is changing and I'm trying to adjust, trying to graciously accept each new day.
Today at my school we had our "Class Day" ceremony for the seniors. Awards were given by each department, the band played, the chorus sung and silly speeches were made. For the first time this year, we saw the seniors marching in their caps and gowns, their parents watching them proudly while the underclassmen (that's me!) sat on the bleachers, admiring their accomplishments and envisioning the day where they are recognized for making it through twelve years of schooling. It's hard enough to grasp the fact that this graduating class will not be with us next year. The current juniors will walk in the footsteps of the seniors while us sophomores excitedly become upperclassmen. The current freshmen will become sophomores and will worry about being the forgotten grade and the little, dear incoming freshmen will walk through the halls with fear as they turn a major page in the book of life.
Not only am I feeling anxious for finals, for finishing up this year so we can ease into summer but I also can't stop thinking about what my life will be like in two years. I will be one of those students dressed in a cap and gown, marching down that aisle while MY family comes to the realization that I will shortly be entering the "real world." It's a scary place, this real world. In just two short years, will I be ready to leave my parents? I will have been with them for eighteen years and then with just a simple snap of the fingers, I'll be gone. Of course I'll be home for holidays and such but I will not be living under this roof where I feel so safe and so loved. I assume the seniors who are graduating on Sunday are thinking these thoughts. And why am I thinking them when I still have two years to go, you ask? Simply because today when I heard a few seniors speak of how surreal all of this was and how fast it happened, I got concerned. What if I don't embrace these next two years, these last, precious years with my best friends, my family and my community? I know these years will be challenging, brain-wracking, heart-wrenching, life changing and oh so precious. I will run fast, I will run as fast as my legs will let me and I will catch up to life. I will reach the point where I am feeling in touch, secure and at peace with the new changes that life will throw at me over the course of the next two years.
It was two weeks ago today that I posted about my "Tuesday Blues." Tuesday Blues must be like...a real thing, 'cause I'm feelin' them again today. Waking up Monday morning is usually painful for me but after the initial shock of "Holy-shit-it's-6am-and-I'm-awake-amd yesterday at this time I was in a deep sleep" I feel energized and ready for a fresh new week. Tuesday mornings are when it hits me that there are still four more full days of school before I get another break. Is it bad that I count down the days before each weekend? I have a feeling I'm not the only one who's not totally enjoying school right now.
It's been snowing quite a bit lately (a foot last week, resulting in a snow day on Wednesday) and I think I am already suffering from a little cabin fever. Life seems to be moving slowly...but I guess now is the time that I should enjoy this slow pace because (if what everyone says is true) before I know it, I'll be graduating from high school and eventually college.
There's so much more I wish that I could go into tonight but I have textbooks sitting in front of me just yelling "STUDY ME, STUDY ME!"
Oh yeah and tomorrow? Tomorrow I'll be making this delicious thing to celebrate a life and a few other things with some friends. Something to look forward to as I head into Hump Day!
Last Friday was a snow day. I love snow days. They make me so happy. Jess came over for some ramen, tater tots, pizza and chocolate milk. (We eat sooo healthily.) We watched The Notebook. Then we napped. Then we chatted. Then we went to bed. Ideal snow day activities? I think so.
Saturday, my mom and I did some spring, wait, no...winter cleaning. Felt good. Then we forced ourselves to go to the gym. I got an hour or so of much needed exercise in. Also felt good. Saturday night I was at my dad's. We watched The Kids Are All Right which was a great movie, IF YOU'RE NOT WATCHING IT WITH YOUR FATHER AND STEP MOM. I'm telling you, these movies really need a warning on the cover that goes something like this: "This movie contains multiple sex scenes, including some lesbian sex and quite a bit of foul language. Don't watch with parents." The story was cute though and the acting was good.
Sunday was relaxing. I cleaned my room at my dad's. My room there never really gets messy since I don't have many of my belongings there but it does get DUSTY which is just nasty. A little of this did the trick. In the afternoon, Jess and our friend Helena and I went to see No Strings Attached.
Quite honestly, the trailed doesn't do the movie justice. The only reason I wanted to see it was because I realized (after seeing Black Swan) just how great of an actress Natalie Portman is and I was curious to see how things would go with Ashton Kutcher who, despite his hotness, is not someone you would expect to see acting right alongside Portman. It turned out to be one of the best chick flicks I've seen in a long time! It's funny, flirty and cute! It was interesting to see Portman play such a light role after Black Swan, but she definitely rocked it. Kutcher was just adorable. Go see it. You'll agree.
Today I didn't have to be at school until 9:30 to take my last exam which, lucky for me, was just my art final. It is SO incredibly cold here. We're talkin' negatives. Made for a numbing walk home from school. Luckily I had four amigos to join me on the journey. Then I got to cook lunch for them. Then we had a tea party. Then they all left for track practice and since skiing was canceled (see the second and third sentence of this paragraph), I'm in for the night. Something about this cold weather makes me want to never leave the house and I'm okay with that.
I'm ready for things to get back to normal. Now that Henry and Lucy are gone, my mom and I feel like empty nesters but at the same time, we're realizing that it's time return to our usual routines. Plus, exams are over and a new semester is beginning. This will be good.
[Regarding my original fun weekend plans: Things changed. (They always seem to!) But, on the bright side, that little get-together will be rescheduled. And, I've already made plans for this coming weekend. I'm suddenly planning things in advance...oh my! What fun!]
Have a happy week. And don't freeze your tush off...because then that would make two frozen tushes, mine being the first.
2010 is over. Gone forever. There's no turning back now. However, 2010 deserves a proper goodbye. So, this post is dedicated to you, 2010--A big fat "thank you" for everything you've done.
When I look back on the 365 days that made up this past year, so many thoughts race through my head. This year was full of laughter, transformation, changes, realizations, revelations, soul-searching and joy. There sure were some trials--some moments where all I wanted to do was give up. (Quite a few actually…but that’s only human, right?) But, 2010 taught me to take each day at a time and appreciate every little moment I have in this Life. Want a little review of my year? Yeah? Okay here it is.
I honestly don't have much recollection of the first few months. I remember surviving my first set of high school mid-year exams, doing some skiing and getting a new cell phone. Those weren't very exciting months for me. In April I was scheduled to leave for France (with a school group) on the 17th but the trip was postponed to June due to the volcano in Iceland that created ash clouds that covered Europe and created serious havoc in airports. We ended up leaving June 20th, the day after school got out for the summer. It was perfect. Our minds were free of scholarly thoughts, the weather was wonderful, everyone was in good spirits, we packed a LOT into the time we had there and an amazing time was had by all.
On July 1st, I took a huge step out of my comfort zone and ended up having one of the best experiences of my life. I traveled to the beautiful island of Vinalhaven with a happy little family of five--and no, this was not my family. It was Julia and Barney's family which included three beautiful littles; Elsie, Anna and Faye. I knew them quite well. They live in my town and I had babysat for their girls for about two years before they asked me to join them on their island adventures. For a month, I lived in the "Poor Farm" with them. I got a good taste of what 24/7 parenting is like. Julia was almost always with me (which was a blessing!) so together with the girls we explored the beautiful island by going on various adventures and hikes, we went boating, swimming (in the ocean and the quarries), picnicking, walking and we did a heck of a lot of playing/entertaining.
Frankly, the month that I spent with them was one of the most challenging months of my life. However, it was also one of the most rewarding, beautiful and life-changing months. Not only did I learn how to turn a 2, 4 or 6 year old's frown upside down, change a diaper in a matter of seconds, keep in my swear-words, be patient, discipline fairly and cook for five, but I also learned so much about myself and that is a big part of what I took away from all of this.
When you are put in a place without cell service, television and internet (so, basically away from society altogether), you are bound to learn to enjoy the peace and serenity. It was a big change for me--checking Facebook daily to not at all--but it was the best thing for me. Sure, I was away from society, but I was also away from my family and my closest friends. It was a strange feeling. It was a good feeling, though. I had nobody to look over me--I was forced to think on my own, grow up a little. Because I didn't have any of the distractions that modern day technology brought me, I relied on my mind for entertainment. It was early in the morning, as the sun streamed through the windows onto my face, and late at night, when the house was silent (aside from the occasional passing of a ghost), that I was completely alone with my thoughts. I had moments like I've never had before. I had the time to assess so many parts of my life, the people in it and myself as a being. I wrestled with the rougher thoughts and turned them into something beautiful. The stars must have been aligned when I got this wonderful offer because I know that it was meant to be--I was meant to be thrown a reality check and a big wake-up call. I'm grateful. Oh and one last thing about Vinalhaven...I turned fifteen while I was there! I couldn't have been in a better place to turn another year older!
August was filled with lots of field hockey...camp for a week and then pre-season for two weeks. September 1st marked the start of a new school year which is, as of this week, half way over. Thank god. But, the best part of August? Getting my drivers permit! It took me most of the fall to get back into the routine of school and homework and all that jazz but I must say it felt good to be back in the swing of things. December brought a nice trip to Montreal (that deserves it's own post), some snow and my favorite of all, some serious bonding with my sister.
2010 made me a happier person and just thinking about that makes me happy. I learned a lot this year and I have even more to learn...which is why 2011 is here. Hooray for another year! Happy 2011, y'all.
Note: I have no clue why this post took so long...perhaps it was my scattered thoughts that took a long time to compile...or maybe it's that I was just plain old neglecting bloggy.
Monday will be here in approximately one hour. This weekend flew by. It was a happy weekend. I feel like I'm on vacation but nooooooo, I still have three more days of school. Three days that I am REALLY not looking forward to. I wish there was something exciting happening these next few days to get me through but I honestly can't think of anything. I am so ready for Christmas right about now and all I want for Christmas is snow. Will the snow gods grant my wishes? I sure as hell hope so because it's not Christmas if the snow don't fall....
Happy Monday. (Even though my Monday sure won't be happy, I sincerely hope yours is.)
Post Edit: Monday has come. And with it...it brought snow. SNOW! Monday answered all my wildest dreams. Now, if only it would continue for the next 120 hours, I would be one happy girl. In the meantime, I'd like to live in the moment and celebrate the fact that I am now one day closer to Christmas break and the fact that it's a winter wonderland outside AND Henry is coming home one day early...which means he'll be here tonight! Yippee!
These past few days have been way too chaotic for me and I can't wait for the moment my head hits my pillow tonight.
Thursday I went to school, of course, and afterward I had Jess and Julia over. We told ourselves we would get some homework done, but that didn't happen...obviously. Around dinner time, we went to see Fiddler on the Roof, our school's fall musical. It was a wonderful performance but we didn't get until 10:15pm! Jess went home but Julia had to spend the night. Basically, one thing led to another and I didn't start homework until midnight. I finished around 1:30 am which resulted in a rather bad day at school. All I could think about all day was how exhausted I was!
I am SO happy that it's Friday and that the weekend is finally here! Other than a hair appointment tomorrow, I am totally free and that makes me smile. A relaxing weekend is definitely needed right about now. And Henry comes home Sunday which makes it all the better!
Life has been treatin' me pretty well lately and that makes me a lucky girl. Let's start off with Monday. Monday morning...at approximately 3:30 am, I woke up, thanks to a crazy dream I was having. I frantically reached for my light and as I clicked the switch, nothing happened. Darkness. I thought it was broken...and then I realized my alarm clock was off as well. We lost our power! I ran to tell my mom and she didn't say much other than "You're crazy. It's three am and you need to go back to bed." I lay in bed, tossing and turning for HOURS, not being able sleep. The wind was howling and I thought each moment would be my last, thanks to the huge oak tree sitting outside my window that despite its gargantuan size, was threatening to fall on the house and crush me. I was so restless and I just wanted 5:30 to come so I could call a friend or see if school was canceled. After a few phone calls and my constant Google search for school cancellations (on my phone), I was pleasantly surprised with a day off. And, the power came back on at 7:30 am--just in time to start my day! I had some buddies over and we had a great time bein' crafty, drinking cocoa and staying warm.
We dug through the basement in search of something to do and a dusty origami kit was all we found!
Monday night, my friend Jess and I babysat for five kids--three sisters ages 2,4 and 6, and their two cousins, both boys, ages 1 and 3. Instead of going into detail, let's just say, Jess and I don't feel like having kids for a looong time. And if I ever have to hear a baby cry for three hours straight, I might just scream.
By the time all the kids were asleep, we had lost our sanity.
I made it through school Tuesday on about five hours of sleep. I arrived home to find the two best grandparents in the whole wide world, waiting for me, to give me some gifty gifts. (Remind me never to say "gifty gifts" again.) Nonny had discovered a yarn shop that sold carded wool which I use for needle felting. Thanks you Nonny for your big purchase! I've already got my Christmas gifts list and I've already started craftin'. I'm hoping to give all hand-made Christmas gifts this year... We shall see how it goes. The "rain day", Veteran's Day and a teacher-in-service day made for a two day school week. And I loved it. In fact, I wish every school week was just two days...but then again, don't we all? I've got lots of plans for this weekend and I'm excited!
Happy Veteran's Day everyone and a big thanks to all of you veterans! Have a happy weekend.
6. Sunday the most boring day of the week. Also a sad day many people dread, because school/work is the next day, on Monday. It is also the day people get their homework done, last minute.
If you were to ask every kid in my school to define "Sunday", I can guarantee you that 99.9% of them would agree with the definition above. Even I agree, partially. It is the day to get homework done last minute, but I don't dread it as much as most people do and I don't find it all that boring. When I submit MY definition of "Sunday" to Urban Dic, it will say:
Sunday: "The "ME" day. The day most kids dread, but the day that I am at peace with everything. The day where I mentally and physically prepare myself for a busy week. The day where I drink excessive amounts of green tea, stay in yoga pants or jammies all day, do all the homework that I didn't do on Friday or Saturday because I was too busy having fun, clean my room, do my laundry and clear my mind. The day where I really don't do much other than be a homebody and be calm."
Enjoy your Sunday for whatever it may be worth to you.
