Bittersweet

"What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies." ~Rudolph Giuliani

My sweet grandfather turned 86 this past Sunday. It was a bittersweet day for all of us. I was fortunate enough to see my special man on his special day.

I call him Hoho. All of his grandchildren do...not even sure why...but perhaps it has something to do with the fact that his name is Holden. Anyway, Hoho is the best. He loves us oh so much and we love him right back. He's always been there for my siblings and I and he supports us in anything we do. He's one of the most generous people I know and he has the greatest sense of humor. I could probably go on forever about all of his wonderful qualities that make my heart feel so full when I'm around him. But, what I really mean to write about is why today is so poignant.

86. 86 is old in my book. Each day, Hoho grows older. Each time I see him, he has one more tiny wrinkle on his face, a little more shuffle to each step and a little more stumbling between each word spoken. I fully comprehend that people get old and that we can't make it out of this life alive. I get it. But I guess this is the first time I have seen a loved one age like this, and it's killing me. I just want to see him driving again, walking more swiftly, reading without glasses and speaking without a stutter.

But, since aging is irreversible, I must accept this fact of life and embrace it. I must love him for everything he is today and store the memories that I have of the old him. I'm lucky to have him in my life...to hear his stories, to check on my teeth (he used to be a dentist), to love my sweet grandmother, to teach me life lessons, to give me advice and to give me a huge dose of unconditional love.

Thanks for everything, Ho. Happy happy 86th. May this next year of your life be filled with peace, happiness, reflection and growth. I love you.